TaperCommunity
Fighting against the effects of the sertraline withdrawal and the negligence of the health system, not losing faith in better times after 5 years of hell
Sertraline/Zoloft: ▸1/2021>100mg, ▸11/22>50mg ▸6/23>25mg (Psychiatrist told me to take half the pills until I finished the box) ✘ Clean 3 Month till massive fall ▸9/23>100mg, ▸1/24>50mg, (I started tapering on my own, because the intention was to have me on 100mg for 5 years) ▸9/24>25mg, ▸7/25>12mg,(starting parabolic with tablet dissolution in water) ▸10/25>11,5mg, ▸11/25>10,3mg, ▸12/25>8,7mg, ▸1/26>8mg, ▸2/26>6,9mg ▸3/26>5,967mg ▸4/26>4,8mg ▸5/26>3,73mg ▸6/26>3,53mg 7/26 back to 50mg
Feeling okay. No specific symptoms.
Well, it seems I’m gradually stabilizing. I can walk again now, although it’s still quite difficult. I imagine a lot of it is the trauma that’s been left behind in my unconscious body. I can move around the house now. To be honest, I don’t have much motivation to get out of bed, but when I do, I usually don’t have any major problems—maybe my breathing becomes a little irregular. Starting on day 25, I’ll begin reducing my Rivotril (clonazepam) by 0.125 mg every two weeks. I think it’s actually the Rivotril that’s keeping me in this constant state. As I gradually taper it off, I expect to regain my drive. It does seem that staying at 50 mg of sertraline is helping. I no longer wake up with tachycardia. I still wake up extremely exhausted, and as the day goes on I gradually feel better. By nighttime I usually feel very good, and I sleep quite comfortably. Even so, the morning rumination is still intense. I put far too much pressure on myself to be “okay” already, and that only makes things worse. It will take me about three months to come off the Rivotril. Hopefully by then my psychiatrist will be available again. Fortunately, he seems to actually understand withdrawal syndrome, unlike many mediocre psychiatrists. This time we’ll taper the Rivotril properly, with long plateaus, and I won’t make another reduction until the withdrawal symptoms from the previous one have completely settled. Right now I don’t see any reason to rush it. I also know this is part of the process. I’ve been through this twice before, and I eventually recovered both times. One of my biggest mistakes has always been trying to rush the withdrawal process. I want to repeat something in case anyone reading this finds it useful. For the first time, the reductions I made over the past two years were continuous and regular. It seems possible that the nervous system adapts to a constant downward trend, and when you suddenly stop reducing, it enters unfamiliar territory and that’s when withdrawal symptoms begin to appear. My hypothesis—if there’s a psychiatrist reading this—is that something similar may happen during a cold turkey withdrawal. As soon as you stop the medication, the blood level drops rapidly, but the various biological systems continue adapting at different speeds. Since some systems readjust faster than others, that temporary loss of synchronization could be what produces such severe withdrawal symptoms. I don’t actually know if that’s correct. It’s just a hypothesis.
I experienced an extremely severe crisis. While driving, I had to stop my car in the middle of the road because my heart rate rose above 200 beats per minute and remained at that level continuously for more than ten minutes, possibly longer. An ambulance was called, but the situation was initially treated as a panic attack. In reality, it appeared to be related to sertraline discontinuation. During the episode, I had no rescue medication available, as I had not taken Rivotril for the previous two years. I experienced intense dryness in the mouth and a state of extreme physiological activation. Although the ambulance arrived and I was later taken to the hospital, my heart rate remained severely elevated throughout. The tachycardia persisted even after receiving diazepam, and the episode did not resolve immediately with treatment. The following day, I suffered another equally intense crisis, also worsened by the after-effects of diazepam. I managed to get an emergency doctor to come to my home. My sertraline dose was increased from 3.5 mg to 5 mg, and I was prescribed 0.25 mg of Rivotril three times per day. I am currently quite traumatized. I cannot even get out of bed without my heart rate rising above 100 beats per minute. I had an appointment with a psychiatrist who recommended increasing sertraline back to 50 mg, which I found difficult to accept, and I ended the consultation. At this point, I remain without a clear treatment plan or structured guidance, both regarding sertraline and Rivotril. Any advice or guidance would be sincerely appreciated.
I’ve really had a terrible month, honestly… Despite having reduced the tapering, I’ve been experiencing unexplained tachycardia, sudden mood swings, tremors, and an inability to perform tasks that require fine motor precision, and after a few minutes of these episodes, the other side of the coin appears: dizziness, fatigue, and a sensation of nearfainting. It’s truly a roller coaster that prevents normal functioning. It seems the problem could be related to uncontrolled noradrenergic activity and a lack of a properly functioning serotonergic “braking” system. I felt something similar in 2023, but I resorted to benzodiazepines. After a severe relapse, I restarted treatment; this time I intend not to repeat that pattern. I will continue with a slow taper to see if things stabilize on their own, but I fear that some kind of trauma (maladaptive systemic pattern) may have remained. I suspect the issue may be that hyperfixation and fear of the symptoms trigger a derailment of the nervous system. I just hope that when I reach zero, the system will be more balanced and that it will help prevent my thoughts from overwhelming it the way they are doing now...
Feeling okay. No specific symptoms.
I had a very strange day out of nowhere, almost like I had an intense flu. I’m not sure if my body detected some kind of virus from food or something similar, but I felt terrible for a whole day and then recovered the next day. It almost felt like my system overreacted. As for everything else, the tapering is definitely getting harder. Going from 100mg down to 3mg is a huge reduction, but it seems that even at 3mg around 20% of the receptors are still occupied, so this is the tricky territory. We just have to keep going and try not to give too much power to catastrophic thoughts or unpleasant physical sensations.
I’ve been doing double reductions, and honestly, I’m feeling the effects. Sometimes I have difficulty breathing almost unconsciously, like it’s hard to exhale. I also feel tingling on the backs of my hands and feet and stiffness in my neck, though it’s manageable. I’m going to try reducing by 0.03 mg per day instead of 0.06 mg. I haven’t been writing logs because I’ve been going through a rough patch, but these withdrawal symptoms seem worth reporting. According to the AI, it makes sense; it’s the nervous system being out of balance.
As expected, the double reductions I made now are giving me gastrointestinal discomfort (it seems serotonin also affects this; it happened to me before), along with more zaps, fatigue… physical discomfort, irritability, and a sensation like having a cold with nasal congestion, although it isn’t actually a cold. But, as is already known, there’s no choice but to endure it. I know I felt worse, but then better spells come, hoping it doesn’t escalate so I can remain functional… Continuing my story for context: "Despite everything, taking three doses of Rivotril along with 100mg left me in a foggy, clouded state. I still couldn’t work—my concentration was low, and I was overly relaxed. I spent a few months in that calm state, but stopping Rivotril was complicated. I would start feeling restless and anxious, and sometimes when I finally managed to relax, it was too much—I couldn’t even go to the bathroom because my heart rate would spike, which scared me even more. Still, after several months, I managed to stop Rivotril with patience. I saw multiple psychologists who didn’t find anything “wrong” with me—just unexplained nervousness. They still ran cognitive-behavioral therapy sessions, where my behavior seemed normal, and eventually they stopped scheduling appointments, forcing me to change psychologists. After almost two years, I shared my psychologist’s report with my psychiatrist, which stated that everything was fine. I suggested that it might be a good idea to taper off Zoloft. He agreed, and we reduced the dose to 50mg that day. Six months later, I finished the remaining pills in the box, splitting them in half. At the time, I didn’t realize that this might have been too fast, since the box didn’t have many pills left. By the summer of 2023, I thought I was free from all of this—but, in fact, it was quite the opposite…"
"As expected, the double reductions I made now are giving me gastrointestinal discomfort (it seems serotonin also affects this; it happened to me before), along with more zaps, fatigue… physical discomfort, irritability, and a sensation like having a cold with nasal congestion, although it isn’t actually a cold. But, as is already known, there’s no choice but to endure it. I know I felt worse, but then better spells come, hoping it doesn’t escalate so I can remain functional… Continuing my story for context: Despite everything, the three doses of Rivotril and the 100mg put me in a clouded state, but I still couldn’t work—low concentration, too much relaxation… I spent a few months in that calm state, but stopping Rivotril was complicated because I would start feeling restless and nervous, and sometimes when I managed to relax, it was too much, to the point where I couldn’t even go to the bathroom because it caused very high heartbeats, which scared me even more… Even so, after a few months, I managed to stop Rivotril with patience, going to several psychologists who didn’t see anything “wrong” with me—nervousness without reason. Still, they conducted cognitive-behavioral therapy, where my behavior seemed normal, and eventually they stopped giving me appointments, so I had to change psychologists. After almost two years, I gave my psychiatrist the report from my psychologist, which stated that everything was fine, and I suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to stop Zoloft. He agreed, and we reduced it to 50mg that day, and then, six months later, I took the remaining pills in the box, splitting them in half (at the time I didn’t know, but perhaps this was very fast; there weren’t many left in the box…). From here, in the summer of 2023, I thought I was free from this, but it was quite the opposite…
I think I’m going through mental/emotional symptoms: too much worry about money, politics, health, what I consume… I’ve gone through periods like this before, but I know it’s because of the taper. As long as they’re not physical, I’m able to see the catastrophic thoughts and not pay them too much attention… There are brain zaps, but they’re controlled. Today I did reduce the normal 0.03 mg; I don’t want to keep pushing my luck—I can see I’m starting to worry too much. I’ll continue with a bit of history to fill things in: After several months taking alprazolam without control, my psychologist thought my problem was psychological (a mistake in my opinion) and gave me exposure exercises to certain activities. The problem was that when the effects of alprazolam wore off and I didn’t take a rescue dose, I would enter a strange state (which I thought were panic attacks). My pulse would speed up enormously and my hands would go numb, sometimes to the point that I couldn’t move them. When this happened I would usually take another alprazolam… until one day during an exposure exercise—riding a bike—I started to feel my hands tingling until they went numb, my pulse went over 220, and even my teeth felt numb. Since I didn’t have the pill with me, I sat down on a bench. Luckily there was someone nearby and they took me by ambulance. Once there, the doctor, surprised, sent me to the ER where they prescribed the famous sertraline 100 mg and Rivotril once a day, attributing it to my “anxiety” and panic attacks (which, if you ask me now, I know were actually rebound effects from alprazolam—originally prescribed after a crisis following my father’s death, which in my opinion I should never have taken, and which was the beginning of five chaotic years).
I’ve gone down double again because I feel pretty good, I hope I’m not pushing my luck too much... As for symptoms, they’re the same as this streak, and to fill in a bit, I’ll share some of my story: *In 2020, my father, whom I lived with, passed away. After being left alone in the apartment, at first, the loneliness and worries didn’t affect me much, but after the funeral, I began to feel these dizzy spells and a sensation of not being able to breathe. A doctor friend of my family prescribed Tranquimacin (as needed! which was the big mistake). That’s when the hell began… I even had to take a dose every three hours just to sleep and avoid feeling extreme anxiety and my heart racing through the roof when it wore off…* I'll continue tomorrow to fill out my updates a bit more.
Well, overall, a fairly stable stretch. I tried doubling the reduction today, but tomorrow I’ll go back to the usual cut—mainly because I’ve been quite stable lately. It’s risky, since the effects of increasing the reduction tend to show up a few days later. On the other hand, I’m still experiencing brain zaps and that sensation in the pit of my stomach (PVC? Vagal hits?*), difficulty falling asleep, and an inability to relax after physical activation. I’ve said it before, but one of the key things helping me is controlling the intensity—physically, mentally, and emotionally. In earlier stages, worry would turn into mania, fear into terror, and physical activation into a perceived threat of death. But knowing that those of us who are tapering have somewhat faulty brakes, we can’t just slam the accelerator. For now, we move forward carefully. *(Those sensations in the pit of my stomach are what unsettle me the most. I’m not sure if it’s my heart, my stomach, or muscles. Most likely it’s the heart, because I’ve sometimes felt these sensations while checking my pulse, and they seemed like irregular beats. But it seems the heart is healthy — it’s a nervous system glitch, which makes sense. Still, there have been times when I noticed these jolts while checking my pulse and the beats appeared regular…)
Without major changes. I don’t want to flood the forum with my posts, but for now I’m holding up. I think I’m in a moderate window where I feel more stable, though prepared for possible waves of symptoms. You can’t lose determination just because low serotonin makes you believe everything is collapsing. I usually do an exercise where I list the problems I perceive as fatal in a spreadsheet, with sections for "cause?" "fear?" "manageable?" and "next steps?" That way I Very often, this exercise shows me that they’re just fears amplified by the dip. I imagine that when I finally get through this, it will make me stronger.
Just like yesterday, the tension after finishing physical tasks is still there (activation isn’t a problem, but when it’s time to stop and relax, the body doesn’t allow it (serotonin break?)), and I feel in the solar plexus area something like a “bare wire,” which usually precedes those “vagal hits” (PVCs?). The brain zaps are constant but normalized, and the insecurity about everything is still there; about the ingredients in the things I buy, about the people around me, and about both the future and the present.
Daily cut: 0.03mg/day Symptoms: >Neurological: Brain zaps (In my case, they're bearable because I already know them well.) >Mood: Anhedonia Irritability / agitation (Literally everything seems like a threat) Anxiety (important: is it existential/mental or physical/body-based?) >Physical: Vagal hits (PVC? of the things that terrify me the most) When I've been walking for a while, I feel needles in my head and shoulders (histamine?) I can play with my pets, but once the game is over I can't stop the activation of my nervous system; the same thing happens when I try to exercise (lack of serotonergic response?). I feel a kind of discomfort, a blockage in my chest, which the activation is unable to reduce; neither breathing nor sitting helps. I have to lie down on the floor and try to make certain movements, and I manage to reduce the tension. >Energy / Motivation: Drive / ability to initiate tasks (1–10) fear of activation Overall: Stable. No sharp withdrawal waves right now. PAWS is still very much part of the picture. What I’m feeling seems more like neurological readjustment than relapse. I’ve been reading through SA.org and TaperCommunity to plan the endgame more carefully. This pace feels sustainable down to around 3mg. Once I get there, I’ll likely slow it down (0,015?)